Make the hole bigger

This is a late night awful confession: I am 100% addicted to those videos on YouTube. You know the ones. The ones more recently presented in hi-definition close-up by heroes (heh!) like Dr Pimple Popper or Dr Derm. Yes. The ones of hideous infected cysts and wounds being squeezed out vigorously much to my intense pleasure and my partner’s horrified attempts to look elsewhere. I have been powerless to stop watching compulsively for more years than I care to mention, and have seen my fair share of ham-fisted home surgery attempts.

I sometimes think about one that really stuck with me. A slightly nervous man is being jabbed at enthusiastically by a family member with a not-quite-sharp-enough blade. The cyst is bulging and shiny and looks excruciating. Eventually the timid jabber manages to make a tiny pinprick hole and starts squeezing viciously with all their might, to very little effect. There is lots of whimpering and thrashing and teeth clenching. Eventually, an exasperated voice off camera says, “MAKE THE HOLE BIGGER!”

It’s a revelation. Just ease the passage. Be brave and make a nick not a prick. What a life lesson.

Anyway, I suppose what I’m saying on this extremely hot and bothersome sober Saturday night, following a day which has been exasperating and painful with little productive flow…is, just make the bloody hole bigger.

You’re welcome! I’m here all week.